I forget I had this blog before my 3 month work hiatus. Today being back at work, my old friend stress reintroduced herself. We're old friends, too old. UNLIKE!!! UNLIKE!!! Dang it doesn't work on FB either. I used to think I could handle stress. But after 3 months of not really having any, my stomach was sick today, the Webex conference call we used all day long, wouldn't accept my access code, and then once I finally got in, I got kicked out once and I disconnected myself once.
I realize I am so critical of people - the worst of all myself. So when I do something that delays others, effects others, etc I freak out. Today, when I couldn't get into the Webex after lunch, I cracked under my own pressure and the tears started rolling. Instead of just focusing on how I could resolve the issue, I went into at least 9 other things: I can't get, they're all waiting for me, I'm the "late" person inconsiderate of everyone else's time and our planned timetable, if I can't get in right now I'll miss important information, if I miss important information when I start coding I'll get things wrong, when I get things wrongs my QA report will be low and not 95%, if I don't get 95% they'll fire me, if they fire me I can't make the house payment, if I can't make the house payment..... gee don't know why I stress out. I need to learn to use tunnel vision to deal with issues. Looking at the big picture for me, is great for a moment when I first start something, so I can see where I want to go, where my goal is. But I cannot look at that big picture very long or it blows my mind. I need to look at each individual step of the way. In otherwords, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.
So I realized my blood pressure was probably about 210/150 and calmed down. Coding should not be stressful. And guess what? I got the access code to finally work, I apologized for the delay explaining that once again I was having difficulty, and they were totally understanding and had just started back up- she repeated the one thing she just discussed quickly, I was good and we moved on. SHEW!!!!! My boss knows me well - she called to check on my later. LOL And she did relieve my stress by telling me if I don't get 95% starting out, they will not fire me, or anyone else for that matter.
So after my first day of Boot Camp, learning some new things, and doing my first set of practice charts, I was hungry!!! I hadn't eatten breakfast and earlier I had to quickly make a beef bologna sandwhich on wheat cuz on my lunch hour I decided to go pay our utility bill and they were "extrememly busy" and was pushing it to get back in time (nice to add more stress to myself!). So, after work, I was hungry and saw grilled hamburgers and hotdogs from yesterday in the fridge, chips and salsa, cheese. But I knew I wanted some veggies! So I made a nice fresh colorful salad.
Then tonight I remembered, after moms work, they have to work some more! I warmed up dinner, I fixed the barstools at our kitchen counter, I Swiffered the floors, I cleaned the bathroom and my lovely bathtub, I cleaned out and organized my closet, I did some laundry. I mean sheesh!
And now, my blogging job calls! LOL I really love the blogging, too!
Off to bed, 11pm is apparently my new bedtime. Seems I can't get there before this!
Here's to a less stressful day tomorrow!
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