Green

I'm trying to be happier.  I'm trying to be less sarcastic (ha! - whoops).  I'm trying to be more easy going.  I'm trying to laugh more!
So with that being said, I'm going to rant her for a second.  Perhaps I should make this post PRIVATE.  It pertains to no one in particular.  It is not to suffocate any thoughts or plans or conversation that I may have with anyone who may read this.  It's just a rant.

I FREAKING HATE HEARING ABOUT PEOPLE'S VACATION!!!!!

Oooff Lordy, I feel better already!

I just had to get that out. 

But as long as I'm at it, and again, hope NOT to offend ANYONE....

but I'm sick of hearing these people going to DISNEY WORLD year after year after year!  How many times can you torture yourself and your child going to Disney Land?   Next time you go - pick me up a Grumpy T-shirt.

And in all honesty, in case you couldn't figure this out already - it's pure jealousy.  We never go anywhere.  We used to travel so much and now.....nothing.  Last year we went to Beech Bend Park and truely loved it!  That is what we are all looking forward to this summer.  A one day trip and back again the same day.

So hopefully no one is too offended.  I had to get the vacation hate out of my system.

And now, onto my Staycation.

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Hmmph!

This is a big week weight~wise.    Tonight is the Biggest Loser finale.  And Thursday is my personal blog with friends Memorial Day Melt Down finale.
Last week I went out on a limb and said I'd drop 3 pounds.  That night I went to bed and woke up thinking, "Why did I do that?!?!"    I haven't lost 3 pounds in one week ever (that I know of).
Tonight watching Biggest Loser these people are losing between 80-100+ lbs in five months.  So I went back to my original weigh in back in September and I've lost 5 pounds in 9 months.  WTH!?!?!
I feel like I've made big strides in the past 2 months.  But then I realize it's only 5 pounds!!!
My diet has changed.  My exercise has GREATLY improved!!! 
I walked around the park with hubby and kids yesterday 1.4 miles.  I remember that was monumental 2 months ago.  I'm walking 5 miles almost daily!
But then again, I haven't walked since last Thursday and now the kids get out of school for the summer tomorrow.  I can't walk 5 miles every morning any more.
maybe that is part of it.  Im feeling a little nervous or panicky about losing my 5 miles?
Ugh.  I dunno.
I guess I'll go back and look at my diet again.  I just didn't realize I had to make zero mistakes and watch every single thing I put into my mouth.

I feel so......taken advantage of

Okay I've been loving my Morning Star Veggie Burgers.  I've tried the spicy black bean, the griller's prime, and now the basil parmesean.  I was feeling SOOOO proud of myself, so "with it" eating Vegan, feeling so green and healthy.
Well tonight a friend and I are discussing our cravings lately.  I just drive past Burger King and smell those fresh grilled burgers and my right blinker automatically turns on.  I mean, really, who can deny a $1.49 jr whopper?  Well since  Veggie Burger's have come into my life I've done pretty well driving right on past BK to my home for Veggie burgers with all the veggie fixings.  But as Chris and I talked tonight she asked, "What is in them, cuz I don't like peppers."  And I was blank.  Actually, I've never LOOKED.  Well Loe and Behold I was speechless! 

MorningStar Farms® Grillers Prime® Veggie Burgers

If it's prime, steakhouse flavor you crave, then get this burger on your plate pronto. It's savory, a little smoky, and best grilled and served on a bun, topped with whatever makes your mouth water.
• 170 calories
• 17g protein
• 39% less fat*
*Morningstar Farms® Grillers Prime® Veggie Burgers (71g) contain 9g fat per serving, compared with regular ground beef (71g) containing 15g fat per serving.

Ingredients:

TEXTURED VEGETABLE PROTEIN (WHEAT GLUTEN, SOY PROTEIN CONCENTRATE, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, WATER FOR HYDRATION), CORN OIL, SUNFLOWER OIL, EGG WHITES, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF CORNSTARCH, NATURAL FLAVORS FROM NON-MEAT SOURCES, SOY PROTEIN ISOLATE, AUTOLYZED YEAST EXTRACT, SALT, CARAMEL COLOR, ONION POWDER, SPICES, HYDROLYZED VEGETABLE PROTEIN (CORN, WHEAT, AND SOY), GARLIC POWDER, POTATO STARCH, MALTODEXTRIN, DISODIUM GUANYLATE, DISODIUM INOSINATE, SUCCINIC ACID, SUGAR, NONFAT DRY MILK, SOYBEAN OIL, WHEAT FIBER.

I mean, what is maltodextrin?  and autolyzed yeast extract?  Caramel coloring?  Onion POWDER?!?!?!

I feel so cheated and lied to and decepted!  How could a VEGGIE BURGER contain NO REAL VEGGIES!?!?   I feel like I was reading the back of a Velveeta Cheese box with the long unpronounceable names.

I'm just a little taken back right now.  The giant leap I thought I'd made really was just a lateral hop.  =(

Confrontation

It seems this week, more than usual, I am dealing with a lot of confrontation.  I just hate it.  In my younger days I could thrive on confrontation - maybe I should have been a lawyer.  But lately, I'm just done with arguing.  And it seems it's coming at me from all angles. 
I do have to say, I check myself.  Meaning, I try to step outside myself and look at the situation from other's point of view.  I do feel some relief when someone else backs me up on the issue ~ not because their my friend, but because they too feel something is wrong. 
I think part of my problem is, I'm changing from a fighter to a nonfighter, and I'm not sure my system knows how to deal with that.  I'm saying, This isn't worth it just let it go.  But my brain keeps telling me, No!  You're giving up!  You're getting walked on like a door mat.   And then I don't want to be the push over. 
I have discovered give enough to time to back away and think and in that time frame the other person/entity usually makes another action that shows me I wasn't just interpretting things wrong.  That I was on the right path.   
Ugh.  I need a vacation.  Alone. 
This year I've started removing people and things that stress me out.  I heard a GREAT quote by, of all people, Nikki Sixx (whoo whoo), "Cutting negative poisonous people out of my life and doubling and tripling positive people has actually physically changed my life..."  It's been working for me so far and have a few more things to finish up.  The next step for me is to STOP GETTING INVOLVED with negative poisonous people and things.  Sometimes that's easier said than done.  Everyone is nice upfront.  Or I get involved with what is meant to be good things, but once you're a part of it, and you start delving in, you realize, Whoa - this shouldn't be like this. 
Another good quote I heard when listening to the audio book for Eat, Love, Pray: "I will not harbor any ill will thoughts anymore"   I struggle with this.  I tend to hold grudges.  I'm quick to forgive, but ending on a bad note, that could go on for quite awhile with me.  But this does no good!!!!  Anger or hatred (not sure I have any hatred) will EAT YOU UP INSIDE - mentally and physically.  Which is exactly why I've become the non-fighter.
So we come full circle.  That is my happiness, or lack of, today.
Healthwise, I've not dropped a single ounce, but I walked 5 miles today with Phyllis.  And that is a good thing!

Out of my mind

I accidentally posted this on my Biggest Loser blog of my friends rather than here.  That shows you how out of my mind I am. 

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I feel crazy right now.
I got up and had breakfast.  Then walked 4.6 miles in the heat and humidity WITH my water bottle. 

I drank constantly.  But man it was hot - 94 today!  After I walked I was starving and the fridge held no promise.  It was 12:20pm and I had a 1pm conference call.  What can I grab quick and fast that isn't too bad for you?  I drove through Taco Bell and got 2 soft Fresco Beef Tacos.  And I grabbed a baja blast Mt Dew - OMG I love this cool blue refreshing drink.  Not the best lunch and definitley the soda was a no no, which I normally don't have a problem avoiding, but Baja Blue?  I had to.  The tacos didn't taste very good.  Usually they're pretty light and refreshing - the Fresco makes it good.  And no cheese, either!  It was weird.  After my meeting running around, drinking lots and lots of water.  About 4pm, I started getting shaky and grouchy and hungry and impatient.  I thought oh I'm bottoming out from sugar!  Grrrrrr!  So again, quick quick quick.  My son asked if we could have pizza tonight.  I agreed cuz I always make a humongo salad when we have pizza.  We got the beef, sausage, green pepper, olive onion pizza.  I even dug into it (uncooked) on the way home - eating the veggies and cheese like I hadn't eaten in days!  I got home and threw it in the oven and started on the salad.  Finally I sat down and gobbled the salad and then a slice of the pizza - but it doesn't taste good!  Bland.
This has happened to me once before.  I start eating healthy and then all the things I used to like that were bad, stop tasting good.  I guess my body says, Ewwww!  What is this processed, sugared, additived anti-food you're giving me.  Although I'm glad that happens, it's very disappointing when you think you really want something that is going to taste good, but then, it's just wasted empty calories, cuz it wasn't worth it at all.


Now, as I sit here, my tummy's upset, I'm light headed and I just don't feel right.  What a crazy day!
I think I'll go back to oatmeal tomorrow.  See if that straightens me out!

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The past two days have sucked.  I haven't eatten much, yet the scale doesn't move.  I'm tired.  I'm not talking to my husband.  And my little boy wet the bed tonight/today twice by 3am. 
I walked 5 miles yesterday (Monday) but it was hot and so humid and I really didn't drink much water before the walk, took nothing with me during the walk and also hadn't eatten.  So by the time we were done about 11am I was hungry, hot, and had the worst headache that just didn't go away.  Luckily tonight my husband took our son to football practice so I just went in the bedroom, closed the blinds, put a pillow over my head and tried to sleep.  I wasn't sure if I might be dehydrated or a migraine was coming on.  So I just took Tylenol and layed down. 
I hope today is better (yes it's now 5:17am), but with my lack of sleep due to bed changing and a 3am trip to Wal-Mart, I'm not seeing too much hope. 

Cinco de Mayo

I love salsa.  Anyone who knows me knows this!  Funny thing is, I didn't like it until I was 18!!  I worked at Chili's and used to eat the tortilla chips dry.  YUCK!  Then when I moved to Ohio, there was a restaraunt called Del Rio!  They had THE BEST salsa!  I was too young and niave to know that when I asked them flat out for their recipe they wouldn't actually give it to me.  But I was young and flirted with the bar tender, and he finally said, "Tell me what ingredients you use and I'll tell you if we use that."

That is how I found the key ingredient ~ FRESH CILANTRO!!!!!

I love the colors of the salsa before they're all mixed in!  Bright red, deep green, bright white!

Tonight I made Picante Chicken.  It's sooooo easy!

4 medium Boneless skinless chicken breast - flattened with mallet or wooden rolling in.
1 1/4 cup salsa/picante
6 TBSP fat free cream cheese - room temperature
1/2 cup skim or low fat cheddar cheese or cheddar jack

Turn over to 350 degrees
Spread 1/3 cup salsa/picante over sprayed 9x13" pan
Spread cream cheese over smooth sided chicken breasts and place in salsa'd pan
Cover with remaining 1/2 cup salsa/picante
Cover with foil and bake 15 minutes
Remove foil sprinkle cheese evenly over chicken.
Bake 15 minutes more. 

I served with Bushes Season's Black Beans and chips with my homemade salsa.  Total calories - 398 calories!  The kids and hubby really liked it.  Kids, not so much on the black beans, though.  But I loved it!

Risque

I'm going with something a little risque today.  It borders on healthy/good for you or, I should have passed.
I made a cheese tortilla roll up.  Very simple.  3 ingredients.

First I made my famous homemade salsa.  I've been craving salsa especially with all this Cinco de Mayo talk!  Then I took a whole grain tortilla and lightly sprinkled it with ....pizza mix cheese.  It was the only cheese I had in the house.   As you can see by the photo there are lots of places where the cheese isn't all one big glob!!  Then I microwaved it for 30 seconds.
It was delicious!

Phyllis and I got back to walking today.  Although we didn't break any records, we did 5.4 miles in 1:20:35.  Since we haven't walked since Friday, I thought we did okay.  477 calories burned?!  Rock on!

The scale said 163.0.  Last week I was 162.8.  Ugh. so aggravating.  I went up 2 oz.  But...really I'm not too surprised.  5 days without walking.  I've had too much wine.  And I had Arby's this week.  So all that and I only gained 2 oz, I'm okay with it.

 

Rainy Day

Wow it is a cold rainy day here in Nashville!  48 degrees and wet!!!!
I haven't walked since Friday.  Yesterday I had so much running around to do, I didn't get to walk. I didn't really sit down until I hopped in the hot bath to warm up last night!  Then today we were to resume our walking routine, and it's just a down pour.  All morning long so far.  Phyllis, my walking buddy, who is hard core, even said she wasn't walking.  She walked her little dog to go potty and came in soaked.  So I don't feel so bad. 
We bought a rain gauge last week and it's so darn pretty.  We are already wearing it out, though!  This was it this morning at 9:30am.  almost 4 1/2" inches since Monday morning.  And it's already filling up some since I dumped it out.  As you can see, with the cooler weather and all this rain, our grass glows!!!

Because it is so cool today, I wanted something warm and hearty, yet healthy to eat.  Yesterday I had decided to start eating oatmeal.  And not my usual instant sugary sweet apple cinnamon or maple brown sugar, but the good old fashioned Quaker oatmeal.  The foot tall tube seemed too big of a feat to attack just starting out.  Apparently others felt the same way, cuz the half foot tall tubes were all gone.  But there were half foot tall tubes of the 1-minute old fashioned  oats - not the instant ones.  So I grabbed those.  Today I set my beautiful red tea kettle over the flame and started getting my oats ready.  1/2 cup oats, 2 tbsp ground flax seed, and got out my frozen blueberries.  I poured 1 cup of boiling water over the oats and let them cook.  While waiting for the oats, I discovered a frozen blueberry is a good treat!  Cuz it's frozen you can't pop a handful into your mouth.  Instead I sucked on an individual blueberry until it was thawed and could be eatten.  And it tasted so good!!!

After my oats cooked, I toss in the flaxseed and mixed well.  Then a dash of cinnamon, mixed well,  and topped with the blueberries. 

I'm gonna be honest, it is definitely not instant apple cinnamon oatmeal.  BUT, I know this is better for me.  I think the consistancy of it hit me first.  It's mushy.  But then, there was no super sugary sweet taste.  Once the blueberry thawed in the hot oats, that really added flavor!!!  I ate the whole bowl and will do so again tomrrow.

That is my healthy tidbit for today. 
Now I have 2 awesome Happy bits!

Last night we were getting a quick and late dinner going - the Morning Star Griller's Prime Veggie burgers the whole family loves so much.  While I was getting the burger topped, Elaine watching me said, "Mommy you're so healthy!"  That meant soooooo much to me.  I just stopped what I was doing and looked at her.  I know she is seeing the changes I'm making.  She seems me making them for all of us and she's seeing the changes are good!  Good for us, as in more fun activities and good for us, as in it can all still tastes good!!  I gave Elaine a great big hug and told her I was trying really hard and thanked her so much!
Then today, I got an email from my husband.  He wanted me to know that he has noticed I'm slimming down and getting fit.  I was floored and so happy, once again!  These are BIG THINGS!  The people I care about, that care about me, are noticing my efforts and their effects. 
It may be rainy and cold outside, but I am warmed all the way down to my heart!!!!